Reconciliation

Wow, a full workweek between entries. I suspect this frequency will continue throughout February due to work constraints, all the while trying to keep up appearances socially, something I'm still very much getting used to. Valentine's Day should be interesting this year. I need to get a head start on that for sure if I want to have a chance of not being caught unprepared.

A few notes regarding what transpired this week before I get my leg sets on:

• Made up with FREd Wednesday afternoon. Had what must have been an hour-and-a-half long chat in the conference room on my floor. It's too much to go into now, but suffice it to say we agreed that our my lack of communication was probably the biggest issue/blunder. I overreacted to what was only a potentiality (regardless of its likelihood), didn't fully take into account his situation, and underestimated his feelings toward me. Toward the end, it was I who made the first physical gesture by taking his hand, which I think is important to me (a sign of assertiveness, physically no less). We hugged before we went our separate ways for the evening; I forgot how much I missed his embrace. Also, later in the conversation, he remarked how I looked intimidating when he walked into the room, not something I'm known for (go me?). We had lunch today (Friday) and it was pretty good. We didn't have as much time as we would have liked due to his review being in the afternoon, but it was much better than the last lunch we had in the Aon cafeteria, which is perhaps the closest thing to a concrete event that precipitated this falling out. Too bad I won't see him this weekend, though. Luckily, the missed Legion encounter mentioned in the prior entry will likely happen next weekend, so I'm happy. It may be the last opportunity for intense physical interaction for what could be, well, ever, which is what I feared during this episode, but I simply have to accept that and not lose sight of the remainder of the relationship (which I like to think is the larger part, but I'm not entirely certain; physicality is very important to me, possibly too much, but that will have to be explored later).
  
• T was out like four days this week. She did indeed have tooth problems related to a failed root canal or something, but I think she's definitively depressed again, as she gets this time of year. She doesn't respond much to e-mails. I really need to get a phone so I can at least text her. I think that would go over better. Hopefully she'll get back to her normal self soon.
  
• Saw Sherlock Holmes with Papí and his partner tonight. The movie was surprisingly good. I really liked how Downey Jr. and Law played their characters. Their bond was very endearing without being sappy or overly played up. Either that or I read too much into it. Conversation prior to film and during dinner was okay, not too tense. I always end up a little stressed during these encounters, though, mostly because my usual lack of conversational skills is further compromised by having to watch every word I say lest I expose my actions with Papí or reveal what I've done with FREd, which neither one of them can know about. Even talking to FREd has that difficulty as I almost called him Jim today at lunch, which is like the ultimate offense. =0
  
• Told my boss (presumably as she was preparing my review) that I had effectively done no continuing education in 2009. We'll see how that affects my rating. I definitely won't be an "Excellent" this year, especially since they changed the rating system from three to five tiers. As long as they don't fire me or materially reduce my pay, I really don't care what they do salary-wise. Very little there motivates me anymore. I occasionally have visions of grandiose model or database rewrites, but I never even break ground on them.
  

There was more, I swear, but I've finished my pre-workout drink and I really need to get to these leg sets before I lose what little energy I have left. There is much to do this weekend, as always...