I have a bad feeling this blog is going to turn into a diary of sorts with far too many unmanaged and unwieldy bulleted lists masquerading as prose, but for now, I will run that risk in favor of continuing to keep it alive in its infancy. Some notes from today:
- Is it appropriate for medical staff (or other professionals) to address you as "sweetie" or "stud" just because they are gay and they know you are too? Two of the male nurses (one of whom is getting close to being an actual doctor by my assessment over the last eight months - ugh, I can't believe I've been going there for that long already) have engaged in this behavior with me. I suppose in some way I should likely be flattered, especially given my shitty self-image, but somehow it still rubs me the wrong way. Am I in reality a closet prude? It doesn't help that the close-to-doctor one (who used "stud" today) is the same one who was the first man to give me his phone number EVA, and then summarily failed to return my calls/messages/stood me up after just one phone conversation (speaking of which, that needs to get added to my first post). I love how he acts like it never even happened, too. This makes me wonder if he even means it, or if it's some misguided attempt at social lubrication. Either way, I don't really want to hear it from him. I don't like having smoke blown up my ass in general, although I must admit I am guilty of doing that to others relatively often. I think I have issues with hypocrisy, but that's for another time...
- The large "pimple" on my ass mentioned in my very first post was "scraped" off today and will be biopsied. I am curious to know what could survive that many assaults on it (pills, creams, and injections). How poetic would it be for me to have ass cancer?
- Managed to evade the Dumbass for yet another day. He's wearing ties now on a regular basis it seems (perhaps a New Year's resolution?). If he thinks that's going to earn his ass a promotion, he's dumber than I thought.
- T came over in the morning and asked to borrow $800. I think I may have said yes too quickly. I sometimes wonder if I am too trusting or naïve. Luckily, $800 became $600 by 4 PM, and then was totally erased by 9:40 PM when she called saying she no longer needed it. I'm glad I hadn't already cut the check (here's to procrastination!).
- FREd sent an opening e-mail this morning claiming that Papí was essentially "looking at him cross-ways" when they encountered each other in the cafeteria today. I almost wanted to forward it to both of them and say "I don't have time for this; could you all sort this out on your own?" but I'm glad I restrained myself. I would be lying if I said I didn't find what could be construed as jealousy over me to feel good, but I also wonder if FREd could also be sufficiently manipulative to have simply invented the charges in the first place. Are relationships (of any degree) worth this kind of silliness (because that's what it is)?
- Hater Girl actually gave me a gift (180° ear warmers with built in headphones) that was thoughtful and that I can actually use. I feel genuinely guilty...which will last until I have to do Coffee Day with her alone again.
- The Other AJ (I think his middle name starts with "J"...) gave me a bodybuilding anatomy book as a belated Christmas gift today. Another thoughtful gift, but I actually like him and got him a thoughtful gift too, so no guilt there. He did wrap it in "Hannah Montana" Christmas paper, though, claiming that, "it was all I had at home". (Does punctuation go inside or outside in quotes? I forget - *le sigh* - and to think that people come to me for editing jobs.) He can be a sarcastic fucker, so I'm chalking it up to that for the moment and assuming it's not a hint that he knows about me. Not like it matters. My IM status message tomorrow will make that bit abundantly clear anyway.
There was probably more, but it's already 11:45 PM and I haven't even started back and biceps yet. I've been eating a lot since I got home, so I can't afford to skip, even though my eyelids feel like they're made of lead.
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