I think I'm finally at the age where I can no longer pull off going to work (or pursuing any other full-day activity) on less than five hours of sleep. I got either three or four last night (I can't even remember that much) and people suffered today. My patience just goes to shit. I was bordering on being rude with the Dumbass, but he deserved it either way. He came over like less than five minutes after I got in and proceeded to tell me a story about how his daughter (age nine?) learned a new sassy phrase (not from him, God forbid) over the weekend: "talk to the booty because the hand is off duty". He did the little hip jut and everything. It was literally disgusting. I had no words at first, but managed to get something out in a language he would understand. It was definitely not the way to start the day. The only consolation that man brings to my Life is the notion that if he managed to find a mate who will put up with his nonsense, there may yet be hope for me, albeit faint. Plus, there's no guarantee either of the two involved are actually happy.
But back to the tiredness and loss of patience...it makes me actually feel bad, which I suppose is neither deep nor particularly revealing. I will have to see if I feel bad enough to change my habits. I still have no clue how people with families, namely children, do it. I came home from work and the piece-of-shit downstairs fluorescent light was not working (again), and it managed to sap the very last bit of energy and patience I had. Imagine having to deal with that kind of thing on a daily basis and to the nth degree. All I can say is that it's a good thing I will never have children.
Used a Ladytron lyric as my status message today and totally mindfucked FREd as a result ("If I give you Sugar, will you give me something elusive and temporary?). I love how he (and Papí back in the day) automatically assumes all my status messages are solely for his consumption (FREd is fond of that word). In this case, to be truthful, it was, but they've done that before when it wasn't. I just find that amusing. Again, not deep or insightful.
Anyway, he sent two apologetic and self-flagellating e-mails to which I did not respond until the mid-afternoon. I may have gone a little too sappy in my tone, and he came right back with supportive words and the offer of a big hug (emphasis his). I didn't respond after that except to say good night when he did so first. I don't know where to go from here with this one. I have been here before with Papí and this déjà vu is sickening. I can either continue to remain distant and run the risk of losing his interest, or come crawling back and claiming insanity by way of overly negative expectations (which he has already kind of bought). I wish I didn't have to do anything. I feel like no distinct event really precipitated this except for the fact that we didn't see each other this last weekend. Is my connection to people this tenuous and spastic? Am I so flaky and clingy and whiny? OK, yes to the whiny part. I'll chalk the other ones up to general poor sleep habits (that's not as specious as it sounds).
OK, I'm starting to get a little too analytical for my own good. A quip from Absolutely Fabulous (or was it Will & Grace?) comes to mind regarding making sure you never let yourself get too deep without getting sloshed, lest you start to take yourself seriously before you pass out. OK, yeah, the delivery on that was terrible, but I'm pretty sure whatever it was applies here.
I just need to get to bed. If I wrap this up and finish stuffing my face with (likely) unneeded calories (no exercise tonight!), I could get ten hours! Squee!!!!!!
P.S. Not only does the new Domino's pizza phail, but it also fucks with my gastrointestinal system, which is already shitty (ha). So not cool.
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